CBS- The World Bridge Federation says the world’s No. 1 bridge player has been suspended after failing a drug test. The federation said on its website Friday that Geir Helgemo, who is Norwegian but represents Monaco in bridge events, tested positive for synthetic testosterone and female fertility drug clomifene at a World Bridge Series event in Orlando, Florida last September.
After accepting he had breachedrules, Helgemo was suspended by the WBF until Nov. 20. He also had all titles, medals and points from the 2018 World Bridge Series revoked.
In a world where “sports” bloggers are worried about Pete Davidson, Michael Jackson, and the Bachelor, I have decided to be the shining hero that gives the people the sports content they want. Possibly the biggest story of the year (that happened three days ago and I didn’t see until this morning) has taken place in the wide world of sports and nobody is talking about. The world’s number one bridge player has been suspended for doping. The GOAT Geir Helgemo has been railing testosterone and female fertility drugs (???) in order to boost his bridge playing abilities. The World Bridge Federation is saying that they were not actually “performance enhancing” but simply against the rules, but I have to gravely disagree with the Federation on this one. By combining the energy and aggression of male testosterone and the emotional intensity of a female fertility drug, there was no one at the WBS (World Bridge Series for the normies) that stood a remote chance against him.
Now I often side with the players in cases of a league vs. a player, but in this case, I have no choice but to back the Federation’s decision wholeheartedly. Geir knew exactly what he was getting himself into when he started taking these drugs. Other than increase his bridge playing ability, the only possible thing I can think of is that he was trying to become the first human to impregnate himself by taking testosterone and fertility drugs simultaneously. If the latter is the case, then hats off to Geir for being a visionary and a pioneer. Though I find that quite unlikely, which means the hellfire brought down by the Federation was very much warranted.
I mean, does this look like the face of a professional bridge player who took testosterone and female fertility drugs in an attempt to impregnate himself?
Actually, yeah… it kinda does. Maybe that’s exactly what he was doing.
Either way, Geir has had his 2018 World Series medals stripped from him and there is now an open door for a new king of the bridge world. Personally, I can’t wait to see who fills his shoes.